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Safety In Your Own
Residence
When you make the decision to end an abusive
relationship and you plan to stay in your residence, you will
need to take other precautions. You may need to obtain a protective
order or peace order, both of which are court documents that
provide relief to women who are experiencing abuse. Your local
District court and/or local domestic violence agency can help
you with this. All protective orders order an abuser to stop
threatening or committing abuse. They also require an abuser
to end all contact with the victim. However, a protective
order does not guarantee your safety. In addition, there are
other precautions you should take (SAMHSA, 2003):
- Change the locks on all doors and windows, and install
or improve security to include better outside lighting.
- Purchase rope/chain ladders to permit escape from a second
story window, if it becomes necessary.
- Talk to all childcare providers and schools about who
has permission to pick up the children.
- Use your community domestic violence resources for legal
advice.
- Cover the mailbox with brightly colored paper to make
it easier for the police to find the house if you live in
a rural area where only the mailbox can be seen from the
street.
- Keep the protective or peace order with you at all times.
- Tell your neighbors or landlord that your partner no
longer lives with you and ask them to call the police if
they see him at your home.
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Case Study
#4. Rita (Continued)
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Since Rita and Toby moved in with her sister, Cliff
has been calling her repeatedly on her cell phone and
threatening her. He's been to the house several times,
pounding on the doors, trying to get into the house.
She went to the police department to file an Order
of Protection against Cliff, including limiting his
ability to contact her by phone, mail or come anywhere
near her and her son at her sister's house, at work
or at Toby's school. She talked with her boss at work
and provided a photo of Cliff, so that the receptionist
will call the police if Cliff comes into the building.
None of this has stopped Cliff. Yesterday when she went
to the grocery store, Cliff was in the parking lot,
he grabbed her arm and tried to make her get into his
car. She screamed and tried to get away from him. Cliff
only let go and left in his car when 2 men came over
(they happened to be off duty police officers) and asked
if she was ok.
Today, Rita's boss called her to let her know that
Cliff had been seen walking outside the building and
that the police had been called; Cliff left before they
arrived. Her coworkers have answered several calls from
Cliff, telling him that Rita is unable to come to the
phone. Rita is shaken and scared, wondering when this
was going to end.
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